Velcro was developed as an improvement on items like zippers, buttons, and laces because it has a not of interesting properties, works better in some cases, and also makes a cool ripping sound.

Photo: Alberto Salguero (Pablo Alberto Salguero Quiles)
Usually this type of fastening isn't what people mean when they think "attachment" in their relationships. Ok, most people aren't really talking about Velcro or other nonbranded hook-and-loop fasteners on dates at all, although there's a great scene in Next Stop Wonderland in which Hope Davis's character goes on a blind date with a guy who markets little miscellaneous rubber widgets for the "Crilex corporation" in Waltham. He admits that they're not terribly exciting, but intimates that bad things could happen if we didn't have those little rubber nubs on the bottom of the phone. Hope Davis' character doesn't go on a second date with Rubber Nub Man, but she does look at the nubs more frequently after that scene. Too bad for Nub Man we've all moved to cell phones.
...but I digress...
It has been suggested that an attached person in a relationship would be like Crazy Glue. Interestingly, Wikipedia's expert, notes that there is a generic name, "cyanoacrylate" that describes both super glues and medical glues, a category into which crazy glue falls.

Cyanoacrylate. Public domain image from wikipedia.
According to psychological attachment theory, the 'crazy glue' attachment between romantic partners could be described as "anxious/preoccupied" attachment or "clinginess." This research into attachment included those poor baby monkeys that were kept in isolation from other monkeys and then dumped into suburban-type monkey habitats by Harry Harlow. None of the monkeys were particularly happy about these proceedings.

Vertical chamber apparatus, called the "pit of despair" where baby monkeys were kept in isolation by psychologist Harry Harlow.
In fairness, Harlow tried to make the monkeys better, and succeeded fairly well with a lot of them.
...yes, that was another digression...
When considering adult romantic relationships (See Fraely and Shaver http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/labs/shaver/publications/fraley00.pdf), securely attached partners are comfortable depending on each other, accepting help and support and then giving it back in return. This is a normal expectation in human relationships, and people who are able to find and maintain a balance in this area are happier and healthier.
Clingy partners get unreasonably upset if they feel neglected, which they can often imagine, rather like poor Mary Musgrove in Persuasion. They are not fun to date. On the other hand, avoidant partners diss their mates and then blame them for not being happy enough about being dissed. This behavior is especially lacking in charm when a mate has been seriously ill and the avoidant partner feels like going bowling instead of calling to make sure everything is all right.
To reiterate, an appropriate level of attachment looks like this:

Image by Kelly Cookson Used under Gnu license
So, what does this mean, exactly? let's take the example of a blog that is used primarily as a platform to communicate and entertain friends and family and as a primary means of self-expression. One might reasonably expect such a blog to contain mention of things that are important to the author. Hence, when MightyIsis was romantically attached, this blog contained mentions of the attachee where appropriate, like during events where both partners were present. In contrast, the blog of an unattached person would have little to no mention of a romantic partner in it.
Source for "pit of despair" photo: PhD thesis of Steven Suomi, University of Wisconsin believed to have been released, but fair use is claimed. The image has no commercial value; it is widely available and iconic; it is being used for educational purposes in articles about the experiment and its creator.
No comments:
Post a Comment